We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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