Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
