Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
