yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
