In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
