Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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