WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
