dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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