you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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