Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
