it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have demons in me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
