In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
