i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
