I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Swine flu is the new snow day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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