Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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