we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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