So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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