dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
