i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
