come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
