Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
