I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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