even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
