i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize