Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you win again, gameday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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