i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
