You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
