well you can't waste a boner
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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