what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
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Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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