I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
