i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize