Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
