It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
where am i from again
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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