i don't like sucking hair
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize