I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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