Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize