i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
