Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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