You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
