yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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