Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
