well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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