Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize