do herpes really smell.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
