i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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