Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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