tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
