I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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