$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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