Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
