so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
