your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
