so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am midnight drunk by noon
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize