forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
