a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She bit a glass in half.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
