I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
